Petrov said sorry to Alonso

Dear Mr. Fernando Alonso,

I take that when you drove up alongside my car on the victory lap last night, you were not there to compliment me on a job well done.  In fact, I seem to recall a fist in the air at my general direction.

I am so sorry to have been in front of you for 39 long laps in your fight with the Red Bulls for the WDC in the race.  You were so right.  Newcomers like myself, as Hamilton was back in 2007, should really respect their seniors and yield to their every demand.  Where were my manners?

That said, I would have assumed that your employer were fully aware of Webber’s predicament as his pit stop did not exactly go their way.  I really think you should give them the fist instead.

Your action last night was a bit like a 16 years old trying to get around a 10 years old for a candy bar that was not really yours to take.  Now that the candy bar was taken by someone else, you are blaming the 10 years old who were in your way, instead of your parents who called you back into the house too early.

But if you ever find yourself behind me in the future, please make sure to inform my employer of the situation.  I am quite confident that they will look long and hard into it and might even inform me on which corner to beach my car.  Oh sorry, Mr. Flavio Briatore no longer works here.

Yours Truly,

Vitaly Petrov
9 seasons your junior

No Team Orders at Ferrari? Yeah, right.

So Ferrari is coming under the spotlight for all the wrong reasons yet again.

They were no doubt the fastest cars on the circuit at the German GP, but what transpired on the circuit is what made so many people angry and upset.  Massa’s obvious move over to let Alonso past and take victory somewhat shadowed the infamous incident when Michael Schumacher was handed the race victory in Spielberg, 2002 by Rubens Barrichello just metres from the finishing line.

That incident pretty much prompted the FIA into introducing the very same rule that Ferrari broke today.  Yes, they didn’t actually told Massa to “Moved over”, but the coded message “”Fernando is faster than you. Can you confirm you understand that message…” from Rob Smedley is more than enough to convince me (and all F1 fans) that Ferrari is a bunch of losers, it’s not what the fans wanted, and it is a complete disaster for the sport in general.  I had that feeling back in 2002.  I have that same feeling today.

Ferrari is a complete disgrace to the sport.

Alnoso, why don’t you shut the fuck up?

Alnoso, you cry baby.  Just because you are not good enough to drive a Ferrari, you just had to open a can of worm.  Just what the fuck is wrong with you?  I know you hate McLaren, and probably hate Hamilton to the guts too, but come on, you were 7th.  Why can’t you just admit that your car is shit and you can’t drive?

I had enough of your cry baby attitude.  It’s not a matter of whether Hamilton ‘respect’ the rule, that has been dealt with already, okay?  He was given a drive through penalty.  What more do you want?  Oh wait, I know.  You want Hamilton to be demoted all the way to last, right?  THEN you will be happy.

Why don’t you and the rest of the Ferrari camp shout the fuck up and get on with racing.  You got overtaken by a Sauber, Alnoso.  A fucking Sauber.  Live with it.

Formula One Books

I was just browsing the Planet F1 forum when I stumbled across a 2 threads.  One is titled “F1 books that will never be published” and the other “If the other drivers were to bring out autobiographies“.  Both are insanely hilarious.  Some of the examples are:

• Making A Career Out Of Smiling Politely Whilst Being Mind Numbingly Incompetent By Nick Fry
• “Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no – why I stayed at Honda” – Jenson Button
• “Raikkonen”, now available with sub titles.
• Who’s Who – F1 Back Markers
• “What was I Thinking? (The Honda Years)” by Ross Brawn
• SATO By all drivers
• Living Nextdoor to the Simpsons – By Mario Theissen
• How Lewis took me from behind – Kimi Raikkonen
• How Kimi Took me from behind – adrian sutil
• “The Power of Dreams, Daydreams, Bad Dreams and Total Nightmares” Nick Fry and Honda Directors
• “Pass me… I dare you” – Jarno Trulli
• easy cash by richard branson
• Diffusing an Argument-Ross Brawn

It’s well worth a read.  Unfortunately I cannot register onto the forum, so I will have to share my 67 new titles here.  Remember, none of these are actual books.  I will be very surprised if they were.  Maybe I’ll put them up if / when I can register onto the PF1 forum.

1. McLaren: The Best Year of My Life by Fernando Alonso
2. I Love my Boss by Nelson Piquet Jr.
3. Praising Your Own Team by Rubens Barrichello
4. Springing Back by Felipe Massa
5. Crash? What Crash? by Fernando Alonso
6. Being Consistent by Race Stewards
7. Say it after me, “I am sorry” by Flavio Briatore
8. Being a Democratic Leader by Max Mosley
9. Recruiting and Retaining Star Employees – Sir Frank Williams
10. Bums on Seats: A Success Story by Bernie Ecclestone
11. Understanding Raikkonenism by Kimi Raikkonen
12. The Best Parking Spot in Monte Carlo by Michael Schumacher
13. Looking After your Car by Lewis Hamilton
14. My Favourite Indulgence by Max Mosley
15. Being Discrete with Your Hobbies by Max Mosley
16. Winning with Mercedes by Honda
17. Pants on Fire by Lewis Hamilton
18. How to Win A Point without Lying by Lewis Hamilton
19. How to Chase A Point without Crashing by Lewis Hamilton
20. Getting Along by Fernando Alonso (foreword by Jacque Villeneuve)
21. Getting Along with Fernando Alonso by Nelson Piquet Jr (foreword by Lewis Hamilton)
22. Driving Fast by Yuji Iide
23. I am Excited! by Kimi Raikkonen
24. Singapore, the Best Place to Refuel by Jaime Alguersurai (foreword by Felipe Massa)
25. Overtaking with KERS by KERS equipped drivers
26. Overtaking a KERS car by non-KERS equipped drivers
27. The Curse of KERS by all drivers
28. Driving without Crashing by Takuma Sato
29. Crashing without Trying by Nelson Piquet Jr.
30. Working Within the Rules – Brawn, Toyota, Williams
31. Being Impartial, How I became the Chief Race Steward while Ferrari is my Client and Max is my Friend by Alan Donnelly
32. 101 Ways to Entertaining Your Guests by Singapore GP Organizers
33. Effective Management: Solving Disputes in the Workplace by Ron Dennis
34. Marketing: Improving your Company’s Image by Rubens Barrichello
35. Picking New Teams by Their Merits, Not Engines by Max Mosley
36. Having Fun in the Wet by Felipe Massa
37. Straight to the Point: What Not to Say in an Interview by Mark Webber & David Coulhard
38. Frank Loves Me by Damon Hill
39. World’s 101 Best Shavers by Jensen Button & Nick Hiedfeld
40. You Local Barbra by Grojean
41. Not Making Mistakes by Luca Badoer
42. Mouth Wide Shut by Fernando Alonso (foreword by Nelson Piquet Jr.)
43. Life in the Fast Lane by Luca Badoer
44. Conduct an Investigation without Leaking by Renault Investigation Team
45. Learner Drivers’ Survival Kit: Look Left, Look Right by Adrian Sutil
46. I am Witness X by Fernando Alonso (2009 revised edition of the 2007 best seller)
47. Being a Quiet Snitch by Nelson Piquet Jr.
48. Test Drivers Can Drive by Luca Badoer
49. I CAN drive and So Can You by Nelson Piquet Jr.
50. Radio Message Encryption Techniques: Using Codewords on Open Channels by Dave Ryan
51. Staying on the Road by Nelson Piquet Jr.
52. Driving in a Straight Line by Mohammad Bin Sulayem
53. Saying No to Cheating (Even When Your Career is on the Line) by Nelson Piquet Jr.
54. You Wouldn’t Dare by Flavio Briatore
55. Reducing Stock Inventory: How I went Through Five Nose Cones in a Day by Takuma Sato
56. Empty seats, the Epitome of F1 by Bernie Ecclestone
57. How to Develop a Winning Car and then Give It Away by Honda
58. When I was in F1…. by Eddie Jordan
59. Up close and personal with Adrian Sutil by Kimi Raikkonen
60. Chasing after the Ice Cream Van by Kimi Raikkonen
61. Being First AND Last at the Same Time by the Ferrari Team
62. The Magic Boost Button, Your Saviour in Keeping Faster Cars Behind You by Heikki Kovalainen
63. Formula One: A World Race for the European Audience by Bernie Ecclestone
64. Bitch about Everything by Mark Webber
65. Spending the Least Amount of Money for Maximum Exposure by Richard Branson
66. Yours Truly by Jarno Trulli
67. From Hero to Zero: How I Screw Up 2009, Starting from a Lie by Lewis Hamilton

Some conclusions from the Crashgate

1) All these people who ask for the race result to be nullified should have their F1 converge banned.  Alonso’s result should be disqualified, yes, but the whole race nullified?  That just punishes the rest of the F1 field who did the right thing.  I bet you people would not say a word if Alonso did not finish in the points, or if Massa had won the WDC.  All you Ferrari fanboys are a bunch of morons.  Which part of Massa’s own demise is due to Piquet Jr crashing into the wall?

2) Alonso is a shit driver.  It is very difficult to prove his guilt (in fact, FIA cleared him), but one thing is 99.99% certain: the team cheated.  If you need your team to ask your teammate to crash in order to help you, it just goes to show that either a) you are such a shit driver that you need someone else to help you, or b) the car you are driving is really a piece of shit.  I am counting on both accounts.  At least Schumacher, Prost and Senna all used their own car to ram their opponents.

3) Piquet Jr never planned to return to F1 again.  With the kind of performance that he put in since his debut, it is a wonder how any team could put up with him.  Well, except Renault, of course.  Why?  Because Briatore is both the team manager and Piquet’s manager.  So whatever he pays Piquet as a team manager, he gets commission as Piquet’s manager.  Basically putting (part of) Renault’s money into his own pocket.  Surely, it is a crime in and of itself?  A complete conflict of interest, if you ask me.  And Piquet Jr is asking for another chance in F1?  Not in a million years, junior.

4) Briatore is a stupid man.  I really don’t understand what the rationale behind all this is.  Mainly, Renault was neither fighting for the Constructor’s nor the Driver’s Championship in 2008.  Did he even do a cost benefit analysis?  Benefit, potential 10 points and a share of the prize revenue; cost, the shit hit the fan, everyone cry foul, Renault’s image tarnished.  Obviously, Briatore did not think it through serious enough.  Oh wait, he wasn’t counting on Piquet Jr to blow the shit out of the water.

5) Symonds is playing hard to catch.  FIA offered him immunity, yet he did not take it, instead, he has fallen on his sword and, as we found out today, banned for five years.  Wonder what was behind his decision not to take the immunity.  If he did, no doubt Renault would have gotten rid of him regardless, but at least he would be free to look for another F1 job elsewhere.

6) FIA has its hands tied.  Comparing Crashgate to Spygate, it is a much more serious crime, and as such, should warrant the sort of serve punishment received by McLaren in Spygate.  And they did (with the permanent disqualification), except Renault behaved themselves, went into an early plead and got a suspended sentence  instead.  Some people suggested a hefty fine, some asked for a ban.  But doing so will only alienate Renault F1 as a team.  We must understand that Renault is a car maker first, and a F1 team second.  Just like Honda and BMW, anything that could make F1 an unsustainable business will be cut.  After all, it is how Ghosn made his name.  In the current economic climate, I can see Renault quitting should a hefty fine been imposed.

F1 is in shock again

The world of F1 politics has been shocked before, with Spygate and Spygate II in 2007, Liargate of 2009 and the threat of a breakaway series.  But nothing compares to the intensity and the seriousness of the latest scandal involving Nelsonho Piquet Jnr., Flavio Briatore and Pat Symonds.

Just to recap the story so far, Piquet Jnr. was sacked as a Renault driver back in July.  He then ‘came out’ and accused both his team boss-cum-manager and director of engineering Pat Symonds on directing him to crash his car in the Singapore GP last year in order to help his then teammate Alonso, which obviously worked because Alonso went on to win the GP.

The FIA offered Piquet immunity and while they asked the same for Symonds, he refused the offer.  Briatore then launched a criminal proceeding against Piquet Jnr and his father in the French court.  16 September, shock settled in as both Briatore and Symonds stood down from their respective posts and are no longer Renault F1 employees.

At the same time, Renault issued a statement saying that they will not contest the charge of race fixing.  So basically, Renault is admitting their guilt, fired the both of them and hoped the FIA would not impose a hefty fine.

And that’s what they got.  FIA had opted for a two years ban, fully suspended.  Symonds was slapped with a 5 years ban, Briatore virtually a lifetime ban, Piquet was immune from publishment, and Alonso got off without so much a scratch.

Reading some of the F1 forum, many people had called for lifetime ban for everyone involved, including Alonso.  Yes, based on Alonso’s experience, you would expect him to at least question the light fuel strategy.  But as much as I like to see the back of him, it will be too difficult to prove that Alonso knew something of the evil plot.

Symonds was offered immunity, but he didn’t take it.  Why not?  That is an interesting point.  Did Briatore pay him off?  Does Symonds love Briatore so much that he would rather face the music?  If he took it, maybe he will still have a job, or able to look for another job with another team (if another team want to hire him, that is).

Never like the big mouth Briatore, the quicker he disappears from F1, the better.  Just can’t believe he would do something so stupid as to outright cheat like that.  Renault wasn’t even in contention in either of the Championships. What good would that do?  Alonso winning one race?  Stupid Briatore has done some stupid things before, but this is by far the most stupid yet.

We will never know what really happened, since both Briatore and Symonds exited the scene before they could be summoned by the FIA to answer the charge.  All we heard is Piquet’s side of the story.

Ferrari’s stupid mistakes

Formula 1 is a funny business.  There has not been a day without off field controversy.

With Massa going home after a freak accident at the Hungarian GP, Ferrari decided to hire Michael Schumacher, the 7 times World Champion to pilot the F60 for possibly the reminder of the 2009 season.  This was their first stupid mistake.  I mean, they have not one, but two drivers in the wings who are more than capable of handling the F60.  And unlike MS, they have experience with this year’s car.  MS, on the other hand, hasn’t driven an F1 car since retiring 3 years ago.

The second mistake is Ferrari has the guts to even write to their rivals asking for a one day test for MS to drive in this year’s car.  Are they really expecting every team to just say, “go ahead, we won’t stop you.”  Williams was the first to block MS’s test, citing “Williams sees no distinction between Alguersuari’s situation and Schumacher’s and feels that any deviation from the rule would create a precedent for the future.”  Then came Red Bull and Toro Rosso (since they are owned by the same guy).  I absolutely agree with Frank Williams on this one.  Rules are rules.  Why should Schumacher get the chance to test when Alguersuari didn’t?  Why should Ferrari get special treatment when Toro Rosso didn’t?

Then came the third and most retarded mistake Ferrari could ever make in this controversy.  Ferrari issued a statement citing Williams “didn’t pass over the opportunity to demonstrate once more a lack of spirit of fair play.”  What the fuck is that?  Letting you have a test while Toro Rosso was turned down is fair?  Which part of ‘No testing’ don’t you understand?  Ferrari is venting their frustration at the wrong guy.  FIA wrote the rules, shouldn’t you be blaming the FIA?  Williams is just interrupting the rules are they are.  You even said it yourself, “someone decided to stick to the precise wording of the regulations.”  That why they are called rules, you morons.

I never liked Ferrari, and this just makes me hate them more.

Rubens complaining yet again

That didn’t take long for Rubens to start ranting about how his team has lost his race.  I thought he would complain about behind stuck behind Button after his final pitstop.  I just didn’t know he would actually complain about not winning the race, without even talking to the team first.  It’s not all the pitwall’s fault.

First, it was his fault for not pulling away from Webber during the first stint.  Then, uncharacteristically, the team released Barrichello back into the field after the first pitstop behind a lump of shit (a.k.a. Massa).  He is so slow around the track that Webber was able to catch up to him and Barrichello even with his drive-through penalty.  It was his fault for not driving fast enough to overtake Massa.  The final nail in the coffin was the faulty fuel rig that just refused to get in.  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to ban refuelling next year.

Barrichello, stop your complaining and drive the damn car.  You are not helping yourself and you are not helping the team.

Ferrari being a crybaby… again.

So Ferrari is having a go at some of the lesser teams that have expressed interested in joining Formula One in 2010.  I can’t believe Ferrari is taking cheap shots at other teams.  Me thinks they are scare shitless that if the budget cap is in place, they can’t develop a decent F61 that goes fast.  And they are scared that they will get beaten by some unknown team.

Ferrari, if you are so scared, maybe you really should quit F1.  You are not the teacher’s (FIA) pet anymore.  You have been enjoying the previlge for far too long.  Now that you actually need to fight for the championship, you are afraid.  Go back to Maranello and lick your wounds.

I personally think it’s great to see more teams on the grid.  If you are good at producing a car at low cost, then so be it.  You can’t buy your way out of your ‘performance shortfall’.

Ferrari quitting? I’d like to see that.

So Ferrari, along with Reault, Toyota, Red Bull and Toro Rosso are threaten to quit Formula One should FIA, the sport’s governing body imposed the £40 million budget cap which could see a two-tier championship.  Well, go on, quit already.  F1 can, and will survive without you, Ferrari.  It’s not like you are the one and only reason why F1 exist.  Just because you are in the sport for 60 years doesn’t mean the sport won’t survive for the next 60 without you.

F1 does not exist for the benefit of Ferrari.  Yes, it is true that the red outfit has been very successful over the years, but who is to say that just because the most successful team leave a sport, it cannot survive?  There are many other teams that will fill the void.  And Ferrari will soon be forgotten.

I never like Ferrari, Bernie or Max.  The more they fight, the funnier it gets.  In the red corner, we have Ferrari, and in the blue corner, we have FIA.  Round 1… Fight!